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Southerndawn
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Name: April
Country: United States
State: Tennessee
Metro: Memphis
Birthday: 6/3/1982
Gender: Female
Interests: People, movies, music, and whatever else is temporarily distracting.
Expertise: Well...I have a degree in psychology so my expertise is saying what people should hear and answering questions with other questions such as "how does that make you feel".
Truthfully my expertise is talking to people in an honest, open and entertaining fashion. That was pre degree. Other than that im fairly talentless...but I survive.
Occupation: Research and development
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message me
AIM:  Dawnsmelody
Yahoo:  corpomorte
Member Since:
9/15/2005
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| Im here tonight because I dont really have anywhere else to go. I dont mean that literally but my mind apparently wants to tear itself open running in circles.
I love you. I love you with all that I am and most likely all that I will become. There is very little that I want more than to hear your voice again.
But i cant. Not right now. I cant risk another fight. Im still not over the last few and now you are as mad at me as i am with you. An amazing problem isnt it? Im not sure people come anymore stubborn than us. I have never figured out how we made it this far. Do you believe there is a chance for more? Will either of us ever be strong enough for that? Im not sure I will ever have the strength or courage to make "forever" seem feasible.
I cant believe i sent you that text lastnight. I needed to tell you because its one of our rules but Im sure a late night text was not the way to do it. I was just worried that if I told you on the phone you would say something and I would retaliate. And im tired of fighting. Tired of things not being calm and comfortable. Tired of wondering what happens next and being disappointed and relieved when the answer is nothing.
So I part with these lyrics:
You know it ain't easy
For these thoughts here to leave me
There's no words to describe it
In French or in English
Well, diamonds they fade
And flowers they bloom
And I'm telling you
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out lately
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking in a moment that
Time will take them away
But these feelings won't go away
-Citizen Cope
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| You know..its been a really long time since i have updated this journal. I really prefer it to myspace but lets face it...The WORLD ison myspace.
But ive come back here to chat for a minute.
Life has been interesting. After what seemed to be a neverending wave of negativity things seem to be looking up. I think the fact that Cindy's enthusiasm is contagious has alot to do with it. Its pretty hard to be depressed when shes around. Its also hard to be depressed when there are a bunch of pretty cool people waiting to hand you a drink or a hug..lol.
However school and internship are about to be in full swing..so the social life I have enjoyed for the past 3 weeks is about to diminish once more.
And as a final note. Mike has popped back into my life. He isnt currently being ridiculously dramatic but it doesnt mean he wont be. Im just trying to go with it.
Well thats all... and I want to leave everyone with a quote from The Fountainhead
"I love you Dominique. As selfishly as the fact that I exist. As selfishly as my lungs breathe air. I breathe for my own necessity, for the fuel of my body, for my survival. Ive given you, not my sacrifice or my pity, but my ego and my naked need."
And i think thats beautiful
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| IT can not possibly be just me that views being social as exhausting. I really dont know about anyone else, but it requires alot of effort for me to be social. I mean eveyrone knows that they want to do something, but no one know what. So at some point someone has to decide that their opinion matters and that everyone should follow their suggestion. At this point everyone follows along..althoug reluctantly and then spends the rest of the night complaining that it was terrible and couldnt believe someone suggested it. So the decisive person pays the price.
Like tonight, I miss lynn..i would like to see lynn...i really have no desire to leave my house. I know I have a LONG week ahead of me due to working my entire availability for my second job and I am also mildly depressed about not going ot music fest. But she says dinner so I agree... She wants to eat at nagasaki. Which is good food...but is a crowded social situation where you are forced to eat at a table with strangers. Dinner for me is a personal affair and not something I wish to share with whoever else shows up around the same time.
The truth is i would rather go eat at perkins with kenny then go anywhere else because eating at his store is essentially like eating at home..except they actually have food...and servers.
I think Im just tired. But really...dinner should be soothing. Or at least thats how i view it.
You knwo what i miss? I miss kenny coming home and chilling on the couch with me with bad wine and worse tv.
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Artists > Panic! At The Disco >
Song: Lying is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off
Well, is it still me that makes you sweat?
Am I who you think about in bed?
When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress?
Well, then think of what you did
And how I hope to God he was worth it
When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch your skin
I've got more wit
A better kiss
A hotter touch
A better fuck
Than any boy you'll ever meet
Sweetie you had me
Girl, I was it, look past the sweat
A better love deserving of
Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat
No, no, no, you know it will always just be me
Let's get these teen hearts beating
Faster, faster
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat
And hold a lover close?
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat
And hold a lover close?
So I guess we're back to us
Oh, cameraman, swing the focus
In case I lost my train of thought
Where was it that we last left off?
(Let's pick up, pick up)
Oh, now I do recall
We just were getting to the part
Where the shock sets in
And the stomach acid finds a new way to make you get sick
I sure hope you didn't expect to get all of the attention
Let's not get selfish
Did you really think I'd let you kill this chorus?
Let's get these teen hearts beating
Faster, faster
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat
And hold a lover close?
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat
And hold a lover close?
Dance to this beat
Dance to this beat
Dance to this beat
Let's get these teen hearts beating
Faster, faster
Let's get these teen hearts beating
Faster
I've got more wit
A better kiss
A hotter touch
A better fuck
Than any boy you'll ever meet
Sweetie, you had me
Girl, I was it, look past the sweat
A better love deserving of
Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat
No, no, no, you know it will always just be me
Let's get those teen hearts beating
Faster, faster
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat
And hold a lover close?
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Dance to this beat
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Dance to this beat
And hold a lover close
Let's get these teen hearts beating
Faster, faster
Let's get these teen hearts beating
Faster | | |
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